6 Ways To Develop Steadfast Self-Belief, According To The Experts

“Most of us have been trained to fix what we’re bad at. At school, in jobs, even in relationships, we’re told to focus on what we can improve, rather than to elevate what we’re already good at,” says Shivani Pau, a performance coach, entrepreneur, and the host of A Millennial Mind podcast. “Real self-belief doesn’t come from patching holes. It comes from recognizing what you’re naturally good at and doubling down on it. Ask yourself: What do people compliment me on? What feels easy for me, even when it’s hard for others? What do I enjoy so much that time flies when I’m doing it? Those answers reveal your strengths. Build your life around them.”

Liv Purvis, founder of online community and platform The Insecure Girl’s Club, concurs: “So often, having conviction when talking about something means you’ll almost certainly be met with someone responding in a positive way. If you can own the things you’re doing, or speak about things that you’re proud of, it catches on. It’s easy to play them down, but talking about things you’ve done with confidence is so important.”

“One of the biggest things I try to remember with self-belief is to start small,” Purvis continues. “If you’re constantly looking at enormous goals and not quite reaching them, it can feel like you might never reach them. Start proving to yourself that you are capable and remember that so much of a process is the journey – whether that’s the fun first dates that you’ll one day look back on with rose-tinted nostalgia, or the classes you attended that lit the spark in the thing you now shine in. Remind yourself that you can never improve or get better at something if you never start it.”

“Confidence isn’t the starting point; it’s the by-product,” says Pau. “When I started my podcast, I wasn’t confident. What I did have was a natural love for speaking, curiosity, and a willingness to learn. Every small step – recording an episode, booking a guest, receiving feedback – became proof that I could do it. The more evidence I built, the more my belief grew. Don’t wait until you feel confident to begin. Start – and let the evidence fuel your confidence.”

And that doesn’t only apply to a work context. “When dating, I had to look at the evidence that already existed that I was a loved, fun person – even if a second date wasn’t in sight,” shares Purvis. “Being vulnerable and fully yourself in front of strangers is one of the biggest challenges to your self-belief, so looking at the evidence you already have can be a really important anchor.”

“Often, what you’ve been criticized for is just the flip side of a strength,” Pau says. “Being ‘too sensitive’ might actually mean ‘deeply empathetic’. ‘Too controling’ could be ‘incredibly organized’. ‘Too much’ could mean ‘driven, passionate, and direct’. Shifting the language changes how you see yourself and how much you trust yourself.”

“Self-doubt shows up most in moments of change: starting a new job, going through a breakup, becoming a parent, building something of your own,” she concludes. “Our instinct is to fix our flaws during these times. But we need to remind ourselves that we’re going through this change for a reason, and we are strong enough to get through it.”