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  • devastating; she calls him “the true love of my life”. And her divorce, of course, was “incredibly difficult
    and painful and sad”. She comes
    from a family of long and stable marriages; she never imagined
    hers might fail in this way.

    “I’ve had an extraordinary life,
    where things have happened in a
    huge way – huge success, huge joy, huge pain, huge loss,” she explains. “And the reason I feel happy today
    is because I’ve milked the f*** out
    of every opportunity. I haven’t
    made one mistake that I haven’t
    used as a stepping stone to get somewhere else. I’m ruthless when
    it comes to using the hard things.”

    People are coming around to consciously uncoupling. It’s Dorky but it’s Worthwhile

    The hardest thing of all was
    to “consciously uncouple” (a
    phrase the pair used in the
    official announcement) from Chris Martin – for which she caught no end of flak. “I wanted to turn my divorce into a positive,” says Paltrow. “What if I didn’t blame the other person for anything, and
    held myself 100% accountable? What if I checked my own s*** at the door and put my children first? And reminded myself about the

    Shirt by The Great;
    bikini top by Eres

    things about my ex-husband that I love, and fostered the friendship? What I put myself through to get
    there was the most difficult thing
    I’ve ever done in my life.”

    Now she’s in a relationship with director/producer boyfriend Brad Falchuk, and she and Martin are successfully co-parenting. Maybe consciously uncoupling works?
    “People are coming around,” she
    says brightly. “I know it’s a dorky
    term, but it’s very worthwhile. I’m always the person who gets s*** at first, but then later people say,
    ‘Hey, maybe that’s a good idea.’ I
    don’t mind.” She stands up and
    smiles. “Once you get over the idea that you need external
    reinforcement to feel good, life
    opens up in an incredible way.”

                
    Credits

    Art direction: Gemma Stark. Hair: Bridget Brager at The Wall Group. Makeup: Angela Levin at Tracey Mattingly. Tailor: Sarah Lindsley at Costume Co-Op. Fashion assistant: Fernando Pichardo. Production: Jane Everett at Prana Productions. Location: The Gesner House, Malibu. With thanks to Image Locations

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