4 Designers On The Game-Changing Magic Of Mentorship
Knowing that someone else wholeheartedly has our back is a powerful thing – and the 19th-century feminist and racial-equality activist Mary Church Terrell’s oft-quoted “lifting as we climb” ethos remains vital today. Here, GILLIAN BRETT speaks to four designers about the invaluable lessons they’ve learnt from their mentors and how, together, they thrive
Priya Ahluwalia of Ahluwalia
“I don’t think we ever operate in isolation. Whether you have a brand or you’re an individual working in the creative industry, you are never totally alone: collaboration is so important. I reached out to [stylist] Nell [Kalonji] because I was a huge fan of her work and wanted to see if she would work with me and my brand, Ahluwalia. Nell is really passionate and forthright about her opinion; she is so well read and versed in so many different areas of the industry, and she never keeps any of that knowledge from me. She’s always enthusiastic about making sure that myself and the brand get to the next level.
“She is always open and willing to come into the studio, too – or answer the phone at any time and listen to me when I ask different questions or go back and forth in my mind, as it can race sometimes. Nell gives me different points of view and helps [me] work things out; she is so encouraging and always believes in the brand and knows exactly what she loves – I respect that so much. It also means that she can challenge my ideas or proposals from a place of complete understanding. When we work together, there’s a mutual respect and we know we always have each other’s best interest at heart. I trust her implicitly.
“One thing Nell says to me often is, ‘What do you want?’ and ‘What do you want to do?’ – sometimes there can be a lot of noise when you’re running a brand and working with multiple collaborators or on multiple projects, and that noise can be difficult to cut through. Nell is always reminding me what it is that I’m trying to say and what it is that I want. She is very good at reminding me that the overall vision is something I need to prioritize in any project.”
Nell Kalonji, stylist
“I never understood the appeal of being on the top on your own. I’m lucky enough to have people around me who give me opportunities and open doors for me, and I try to do the same for others. To quote [Harper’s Bazaar US editor-in-chief] Samira Nasr, ‘I don’t subscribe to the idea of being pitted against each other.’ Bringing people up with you adds more perspectives to our industry, which makes it more exciting for everyone involved. I think what [Priya and I] have in common is that we are both very collaborative in the way we work. You can’t be an expert in all things, but you can seek out people with different talents to collaborate with. Another thing that connected us straight away was the idea of community-building. Ahluwalia the brand is a growing community that stands for humanity and inclusivity. Ahluwalia the person is genuine and honest. You put those things together and what you get is [something] quite special and beautiful.
“Mentoring, to me, is a collaboration that benefits everyone involved. I don’t go into it wanting to dominate the space with my opinion; I listen and advise and learn from my mentees as much as they learn from me – it is a very rewarding process. Women are expected to juggle careers and family life seamlessly and it’s hard, so having a support system is vital. Also: be proud of your ambition. Being referred to as an ambitious woman almost has a negative connotation [that] I [have] never understood. Be unapologetic about your goals – you deserve to be here.”
Emilia Wickstead of Emilia Wickstead
“I wouldn’t be where I am today – with my own brand, Emilia Wickstead – without the incredible women who have supported and nurtured me throughout my life; it’s so important to give back. I recently read that you should ‘surround yourself with women who would mention your name in a room full of opportunities’ – this is something I live by and do genuinely and proudly.
“One of the greatest gifts my mother [Angela Wickstead] has given me came in the early days, when I would sit in on her fittings after school. I would observe everything – how to balance a garment, alterations, how to speak with clients. But it was only when we moved to Milan, when I was 14, that I knew I wanted to be part of the fashion industry. My mother would make a point to take me into stores, where she would turn the garments inside out and explain to me what was finished well, and what wasn’t. When I decided to go to London to study fashion, she was adamant that I learn the business side, too. I studied both design and marketing, which I’m eternally grateful for. My mother is a continuous sounding board for me when designing new collections, too – if it passes her taste test, I know it’s good!
“I want to teach my daughter [Mercedes Amalia] that she doesn’t need to be the smartest girl in the room, but she does need to be the grittiest. I want her to grow up to love her work; to not just have a job but to have a calling; to challenge herself every day and to get back up when she gets knocked down. I hope that I’m teaching her resilience when she watches me work hard, and in the way I talk about my work with sincere passion and love for what I do.”
Angela Wickstead of Angela Wickstead Home
“I have a very close relationship with Emilia – we’re sometimes more like sisters, and we are always advising and helping each other. I remember one moment in particular – when she wanted to open her first store – that we all came on board and did whatever was necessary to get it up and running.
“The most rewarding thing about being a mother is the fact that Emilia comes to me for advice. It’s often challenging to see how hard she works and the toll it can take, but it’s always enlightening to see her dreams come to fruition. When I was finding my feet as a clothing designer many years ago, my sister, Silvia, was my mentor. The best piece of advice that was given to me was, ‘Never, never give up.’ Today, my mentor is Emilia.”
Anna Jewsbury of Completedworks
“I think it’s important to have someone you can be engaged in a dialogue and [go] back and forth with, especially when you are trying to carve your own path – it’s impossible to do that in isolation. These kinds of relationships can be really transformative, especially if it’s someone who can bring a new perspective to what you are doing and is not afraid to challenge you. The last time [Jessica Joffe and I] spoke we were exploring a new category for Completedworks – what that would look like, the challenges we need to watch out for, as well as more practical advice on how she could help. And the best advice she has given me is to create without compromise.
“[Our relationship] came about really naturally, and we’ve never tried to impose any regularity to it, which I think has suited us both. It started with some conversations over FaceTime during lockdown, then we finally met in person last summer, when she was on a trip to London. It evolved naturally, and she became someone I could have a dialogue with; [someone] who would question where I wanted to go next and offer advice, which was always on point. We’ve been wanting to do something collaborative together for ages and we’re talking right now about [doing] something with moving images.”
Jessica Joffe, actor
“We are generally taught to think of life as a zero-sum game; that what’s left when you’re not winning is losing. We are taught to compete and transact, but that has never worked for me. I prefer collaborating and supporting and encouraging and learning from others. We never get to where we are meant to be without a million little generosities from others. Why not go it together?
“The idea that I’m a mentor to Anna is mildly amusing to me – our relationship is nothing if not mutually supportive and admiring. I have always been in awe of Anna’s sanguine approach to business and creativity, and I have waited in the wings with bated breath to see her accomplish everything she sets out to do – and more. When she asks for advice, or we talk through ideas or conundrums, I am only too happy to offer my outside perspective; I can, without reservation, say I learn from her as much as she does from me.
“Like many relationships in the 21st century, ours began on DM, then moved to FaceTime and, finally, real life. We have discussed collaborations, and approaches to work and life and the infinite challenges of being an entrepreneur. And, like all the best relationships, the conversation [has] never stopped.”
Roksanda Ilinčić of Roksanda
“I am so honored and grateful to have such a strong, inspiring group of women around me, constantly evolving and supporting one another. [Louise Wilson’s] biggest act of encouragement and support was believing in me when I didn’t. She was my harshest critic, with the biggest heart.
“Louise used to take me out of my fashion classes to model for MA students’ graduate collections. I would spend hours in her office during fittings listening to her critiques, and very rare praises, for the students’ collections. She was always right – never wrong. They were the best lessons I ever got in fashion. So poignant, so honest.
“I read Robert Herrick’s Upon Julia’s Clothes at Louise’s funeral because it is such a beautiful depiction of the meaning behind a woman’s clothes; why we create them and how we carry ourselves in them – the essence of what Louise always portrayed. I picture her so vividly when reading it.”
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