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A Letter To My Future Self: Filmmaker And Activist Elyse Fox

In this series of Incredible Women essays, inspiring voices making a mark on the world share a letter to themselves in the future. Up next is ELYSE FOX, filmmaker, ‘accidental’ mental-health activist, and founder of Sad Girls Club. She asks herself to remember the hard times and how she found hope…

Incredible Women

Dear Elyse,

Hi, it’s you from the past. By the time you’re reading this letter, you’ll be in your fifties. Let this serve as a reminder of the first three decades of your life: the struggles you faced and overcame, the achievements you were most proud of, and the hopes and plans you were making for the future.

At the moment, I call myself an ‘accidental activist’ because, while mental health is something I’ve been passionate about my entire life, the intention was never to start a revolution. When I decided – as a filmmaker and director by trade – to make a film documenting my experience with depression, I really just wanted to show that you can look 100% ‘OK’ – having fun, having a good time – but be seriously struggling internally. That was the basis of what I wanted the film to portray. But, through doing that, I started to realize how few Black women there were with a space and platform to discuss and find support for their mental health. So, I decided to create one myself.

Being a millennial, I created the Instagram account Sad Girls Club as a place for people across the world to congregate and to feel safe to talk about these things, to give a voice to these experiences. I realized we were all trying to deal with our struggles separately, and that it was shame keeping us from sharing them and owning what they are. When I look to the future of Sad Girls Club, I realize it is the community that has carried it this far. I want to always keep that in the forefront of my mind.

While people found me to be a support system through the platform, I gained the same in return. Hearing other people’s stories made my struggles feel less taboo. I’m constantly tapping into the knowledge and experiences of this community and learning new ways to navigate and cope.

How has the world’s understanding of mental health progressed? I want it to be implemented into every pillar of our lives. Rather than requiring a dedicated space, it should be part of everything we do. Things only get better when we stay consistent – that’s how they become normality. I hope it’s become the norm in the world you’re living in.

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It’s so important that we nurture mental health for future generations, and that we work towards there being far more equality in accessing support
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When I had my baby three years ago, navigating postpartum depression was incredibly challenging, but I’m proud that I got through it and I hope that I can help my son to be more aware and caring of his own mental health as he grows up. Two of my greatest professional achievements in the mental-health space are the work I’ve done with Ivy League colleges, speaking with students and helping to develop programming to support mental health in these really competitive schools, and also being invited to be part of Selena Gomez’s Mental Health Council. It’s so important that we nurture mental health for future generations, and that we work towards there being far more equality in accessing support.

I’m very proud of the work I’m doing in this space, but I’m also hoping to make a move back into film at some point and to push for women in the industry to be equally represented, both on camera and behind the scenes. We need to shift away from the male gaze being the dominant lens, and I want to be part of getting more women into the writing, producing, directing and editing processes.

I was living in Los Angeles when [the idea for] Produced by Girls, a collective for female creatives, came to me, from noticing incredibly talented women artists who weren’t getting the time or attention they deserved. I started documenting women around LA: people struggling with anxiety, with homelessness, with severe mental-health issues. They were producing some of the most beautiful work I’d ever seen and the most beautiful songs I’d ever heard. Without Produced By Girls and experiencing the vulnerability of these women and their stories, I wouldn’t have been able to be as vulnerable and honest as I was when I made my documentary.

I’m really in work mode in my life at the moment. But I’ve started doing some consulting recently, and I’d like to be able to take more time out to mentor and uplift people who want to change the world but don’t know exactly how to start. I’d love to have my own agency one day, too, representing young artists of color and helping them to achieve their dreams.

On a personal level, I wish you could tell me if there is more peace than chaos in my life yet. I’m striving for it. I’d really like to know if I get that in my future, as well as whether I have found some companionship down the line. I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see.

Yours,

Elyse, your thirtysomething self