Elif Shafak On The Dangerous Myth Of ‘The Multitasking Woman’
As she releases her latest novel, There are Rivers in the Sky, author and activist ELIF SHAFAK pens an essay refuting the idea of the ‘multitasking woman’, writing about how this long-standing, hackneyed falsehood does not serve either ourselves or society
“Women are good at multitasking.” I have heard this statement on so many occasions, and for too long I have told myself that fulfilling multiple chores at the same time, all the time, was no big deal. I could keep several balls in the air at once because this is what women do. But, more and more, I have come to doubt this hackneyed premise – and its intention. Are women really better at multitasking, or is this simply what society demands of us? And, when you consider it carefully, is it really such a positive thing to be “good at multitasking”?
It seems to me that, little by little, task by task, we are exhausting ourselves.
Multitasking is based on continuous speed. We are expected to do everything as quickly as possible, even though this is highly corrosive for the soul and damaging to our emotional – and sometimes physical – state.
“Why am I so clumsy?” a dear friend asked the other day as she massaged her foot where a bruise was slowly forming. “I bumped into the coffee table, like a careless child!” Her comment made me pause, as I thought of all the times when I, too, had called myself “clumsy” while nursing a similar bruise or a cut, all fingers and thumbs, awkward in my haste.
My friend, too, was rushing that afternoon. Rushing and multitasking. She was keeping an eye on her young twins playing on the carpet, while also checking on her elderly mother who was sleeping in the next room, as she carried a teapot and cakes to serve her guests, and most probably planning out the rest of the day in her mind, balancing her work and family schedule, making sure everyone around her was fine and content and prioritized… She was in many places at once, which is also another way of saying that she could not be fully present in any of them.
When we sprint and scamper, race and dart, we miss so much. We lose connection with ourselves – with our bodies and mental health – as we strive to beat an unachievable pace that brings neither a reward nor a gift. We forget to pay attention to the silences, the meanings residing in the gaps. The myth of the constantly, perfectly strong multitasking woman also comes at the expense of recognizing and expressing our true feelings. We must stop regarding our emotions as a sign of weakness, as something to be controlled and suppressed.
“To acquire genuine knowledge, we need to slow down. We need books, considered journalism, in-depth analyses and calm conversations. We have to be good listeners
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Multitasking does not serve us on a societal scale, either. We live in a polarized world, shaped by hyper-information and fast consumption. There is so much anxiety across the globe. An existential angst cuts deep through generations and geographies. I find it important to make a distinction between information, knowledge and wisdom, as they are not synonymous with each other. In truth, they are completely different. We scroll through our social-media feeds, receiving titbits of information about this subject and that. We collect and then consume and discard them just as fast. There is no time to process. No time to feel, even. The next moment, another piece of information falls into our phones and we must now focus on that. Except it is not really focusing. In this hectic whirlwind of activity, we keep jumping from one subject to another, just like we rush from one task to the next.
Information is an obstacle in front of knowledge. Limited information gives us the illusion that we know something – and if we don’t, we can easily Google it. We have forgotten how to say, “I don’t know”, which used to be the starting point for many ancient philosophers and mystics. Once upon a time, it was a wise thing to acknowledge a lack of knowledge. We have swapped that kind of ancient wisdom for a kernel of modern information. With search engines at our fingertips, we can now learn just a little bit about any subject, and in the next few minutes, we can say a few words on that theme, giving us the mistaken impression that we are well-informed. But that is not true knowledge.
To acquire genuine knowledge, we need to slow down. We need books, considered journalism, in-depth analyses and calm conversations. We have to be good listeners. Wisdom, meanwhile, demands the ability to bring the mind and the heart together. It thrives upon empathy, emotional intelligence and understanding.
As a writer, a storyteller, it is important to me to understand not only the stories of our times, but also its silences. I am drawn to those silences, and I am also drawn to those who have been silenced. Literature has the power to give a voice to the voiceless, bringing the periphery to the center, making the invisible a bit more visible – but only if we give it the time and attention it deserves and requires. When we are immersed in a story, when we make an emotional connection with others, we begin to transcend our little corner of the world that we often see as the center of the universe.
We do not need to be consummate multitaskers. If anything, let’s be the opposite! With our flaws and fiascos, we are all deeply complex, ever changing, flowing, learning. Only when we slow down can we traverse longer distances. Only when we start noticing the small things in life can we initiate the most meaningful changes. And only when we stop demanding so much of ourselves and fearing the judgement of others if we were to fail, only then, in that lighter and unhurried state of mind, can we find focus and feel free.
Elif Shafak’s latest novel, There are Rivers in the Sky, is out on August 8