Roxie Nafousi On Her Journey From Self-Criticism To Self-Confidence
The speaker, author, self-development coach and manifestation expert has recently released her second bestselling book, Confidence. But, while Nafousi’s methods have made her a global success and something of a cult phenomenon, self-assurance isn’t something that comes naturally. Here, she shares her ongoing journey of overcoming self-doubt and finding real confidence
Confidence provides a foundation for everything we do. Yet, for many of us, it’s something we struggle with in some form or another. For a long time, I thought of confidence the same way I thought of other talents: it was something you either had or didn’t. Like singing. You were either good at it or you weren’t. And I wasn’t blessed with either. I was tone-deaf and riddled with self-doubt. I watched people who seemed to possess effortless confidence, and I’d daydream about what it must feel like to live life that way, unbothered by second-guessing and self-criticism.
Growing up in the UK during the Iraq war, having moved with my Iraqi parents from Saudi Arabia, I felt disconnected from those around me. My background made me feel different, like an outcast looking in. So, in an attempt to fit in, I hid parts of who I was. I changed my name from Rawan to Roxie and told people I was from Jordan instead of Iraq. I thought that if I could just change my name, change my identity, I could blend in. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was rejecting myself, allowing the judgment of others to dictate how I saw myself. In the process, I gave up an important part of my identity. What I now know is that true confidence doesn’t come from running away from and hiding who you are; it comes from embracing all of yourself.
When I hit my early thirties, I realized my perspective on confidence was all wrong; that it isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you can build, nurture and develop over time. So I set myself on a mission to cultivate it, piece by piece. I was determined to free myself from the exhausting self-doubt that was holding me back from living my best life.
Over the past few years, I have developed my own formula for confidence – a way to transform my life and how I feel about myself. Along the way, I’ve faced many challenges that have put this fledgling self-assurance to the test. One of the biggest came when I published my first book, Manifest. The fear of putting my work out into the world was overwhelming. What if people didn’t like it? What if I was judged? I remember reading the first two pages the night before it was released and cringing, immediately closing the book and wincing. I felt like an imposter.
“It’s not about feeling 10/10 all the time. It’s about knowing how to navigate the moments when you don’t feel it and still show up anyway
”Roxie Nafousi
The success of Manifest didn’t erase my doubts, but it gave me something powerful: proof. Proof that I was capable of more than I’d ever given myself credit for. That book became a reminder that, sometimes, the things we fear most are the very things that help us grow and evolve.
Today, after years of pushing myself to step outside my comfort zone, using tools like positive affirmations, journaling, meditation and therapy, I can confidently say that I’m more self-assured than I’ve ever been. It’s freeing in a way I never expected.
But even now, I’m still on my confidence journey. It’s one I’m deeply committed to. There are days when doubt creeps in, when I question myself or wonder if I’m good enough. There are days when I convince myself everyone hates me, or that I can’t possibly go on camera because I feel self-conscious about the way I look. But now I realize that’s the nature of confidence. It’s not about feeling 10/10 all the time. It’s about knowing how to navigate the moments when you don’t feel it and still show up anyway. I often remind myself of my favorite affirmation: “I am more powerful than my fear and doubt.”
I’ve learned to embrace the ebb and flow of confidence. There will be highs and there will be lows – moments of triumph and moments of self-doubt. Now I can acknowledge those insecurities when they crop up – and then make a conscious decision to choose to rise above them. I don’t attach more meaning to them than they deserve. I can dismiss them – because, deep down, I know the truth: I am worthy. I am enough. We all are.
I know how debilitating life can feel when you don’t believe you are worthy of love, joy or happiness. I understand how exhausting it is to constantly criticize yourself and wonder what others think of you. If I, someone who spent years tormenting myself, can find real confidence, then I believe anyone can. Looking ahead, I am dedicated to helping others embrace their true selves, step into their power and recognize their worth. For me, I will continue striving to feel more confident in myself every day.
Confidence, by Roxie Nafousi, is available now in hardback, eBook and audio