A Letter To My Future Self: Model And Advocate Aaron Rose Philip
In this series of Incredible Women essays, inspiring voices making a mark on the world share a letter to themselves in the future. This time, model AARON ROSE PHILIP writes about discovering the magic of being herself, advocating for the disabled and trans communities, and her hunger to know what’s coming next
Dear future self,
It’s me, Aaron Rose. I hope this letter finds you more than well, with joy and fulfilment in every part of your life.
These years we have lived have been an absolute doozy, girl. Good, bad, left, right, east, west… In every direction and in every form or shape that life has taken us, we have made something significant of and for ourself.
At 22, I feel so conscious and self-aware, and I have been feeling an increased sense of responsibility – as a friend, daughter, model and person who advocates for change with the platform I’ve built. This has meant investing my time and energy in the things I can do to make life easier and happier, whether it’s advocating and attaining physically rehabilitative care for myself as a disabled person, staying connected to the loved ones in my life, or creating time to do the activities I love. All of this helps me to facilitate happiness and the magic of being able to be my own person a little bit more every day. I’m super-proud of myself for that.
The confidence journey I’ve been on has been significant. I love myself more now than I ever have, but I have had to go through so much to get here. To be confident is to love yourself, to enable yourself the pleasure of expressing your true self to the world around you. I also think that to be confident is to be brave. I have found confidence within the necessity of being brave and vulnerable, in order to create the life that I now have.
When I was younger, I just wanted to bring the goals of my imagination to life. I wanted to feel less alone, so I wrote about my life through a blog on Tumblr, knowing that my experiences as a disabled youth were things that many people didn’t know about. I wanted community, so I found social media instead of often sitting alone in the cafeteria. I wanted, at one point, to have a career as a photographer, so I applied for an extracurricular course in photography at NYU Tisch School of the Arts and got accepted, and went. I wrote and published a memoir about what it was like to live as a kid with cerebral palsy.
“Future me, I hope that we see vital changes – such as all the anti-trans legislation of the present day being eradicated across the world, disability becoming widely understood and embraced in society, and that our life continues to be one of joy, growth and personal responsibility
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As a child, I had the privilege of – but also worked hard at – being accomplished in different ways. It was amazing, but I wasn’t yet living truly as myself during any part of that time in life. My past life as a child is a part of me – I am proud of and own that part of myself and our life, but I was not yet able to be me, and I did not love myself for that reason. Confidence and my willingness to see the world change kept me going. I feel grateful to be in a place now where I am not just a young accomplished person, but that there now is an even more elevated identity to that person, that kid that I was and am.
We both know that if we told our younger self about life now, as a successful fashion model, they would’ve laughed out of disbelief. They wouldn’t fathom that I, with cerebral palsy and my motorized wheelchair, as a young Black trans woman, would be on the cover of British Vogue; that I fronted an online roundtable with my close friend; that I have walked fashion week several times and have sat for designer brands all over the world… Life now is not only beyond my wildest dreams and expectations, but is completely different to anything we ever did before; and by the grace of God, it all worked out.
So, what comes next, future me? In the next couple of years, does fashion truly strive towards and succeed in including disabled folks in the important parts of the industry? Will there be more disabled folks and talent on the runway from the efforts of me and my community being heard by the world around us? Will I succeed in my goals of branching out towards the worlds of acting and music? I’m hungry and excited to know what’s up for us.
My mommy has always told me that the sky is the limit and that I can do anything I put my mind to, and I think that’s why I am the way I am. Future me, I hope that we see vital changes – such as all the anti-trans legislation of the present day being eradicated across the world, disability becoming widely understood and embraced in society, and that our life continues to be one of joy, growth and personal responsibility. I am so proud of us and I believe in us. We’ve done damn good.
I love you, you’re a real one and you deserve to love and to be loved. Thank you for sticking it out. We tore! And we will continue to.
With love and kisses to you from you,
Aaron Rose Philip
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