How To Ignore The Shape Of A New Era, By Charli Howard
Model, activist and author CHARLI HOWARD has devoted herself to challenging the industries that profit from women’s self-doubt. In this urgent new chapter of her work, and in her new book Flesh, she examines how history, media and misogyny have shaped the female body in the public imagination. Here, Howard looks at how women can ignore external beauty standards, reclaim their self-image and prioritize joy
It is impossible not to be influenced by outside messaging about our bodies. We are taught that an ‘ideal’ body will make us happier, better people, worthy of love and acceptance. We absorb these messages from birth, molded as we grow by societal, cultural and familial beliefs; our self-esteem contingent on how we fit into those ideals. And unfortunately, while we may not care to admit it, so much of our obsession with our bodies, at least for heterosexual women, stems from how we wish to be treated and desired by men.
When I was a teenager, ‘size zero’ was the paragon of perfection. That was the messaging shoved down our throats. I truly believed – as women of my generation were taught – that my worth lay in an ultra-slender appearance. It led to debilitating eating disorders. I thought that my problems and insecurities could, quite literally, be starved away. Of course, the truth is that no amount of surgery, weight loss or exercise will ever make you ‘perfect’ in a system that profits from your insecurities. We are doomed to fail but expected to conform regardless.
Female body parts, such as toned arms or a flat stomach, are treated as though they’re fashion accessories rather than limbs belonging to living, breathing women with thoughts, feelings and emotions. We are prompted to think of our bodies as objects first, humans second. Then, when our bodies don’t conform or slim themselves as easily or as quickly as we’d like, we are left feeling like something vital has been lost.
For a brief moment after the 1990s and 2000s, it looked as though women were finally catching a break. Body positivity and the rise of curve models – a movement I was proudly part of – finally put fuller figures into fashion and the mainstream. We began to understand the absurdity and danger of extreme thinness, as well as how being ‘fleshy’ could be OK. In fact, being yourself could be empowering.
The curve and body positive movements had a hugely positive effect on my own self-image, but I also saw how much happier other women felt within themselves, too. There was beauty again in being womanly. Clothing began to feel inclusive and built around us, rather than something to be insecure about or afraid of. Women were shunning the likes of waist trainers and corsets and flaunting their contours proudly.
Recently though, the rise of #SkinnyTok, weight-loss teas and Ozempic has brought thinness back with a vengeance. Now, with the pervasiveness of social media, the message to be thin somehow feels even more personally targeted. Women are going to excessive lengths to lose weight, using injectable semaglutides (Ozempic, Wegovy) and tirzepatides (Mounjaro) to shed the pounds while ignoring any potential future health complications. I’ve seen hip bones flaunted as a badge of honor and phrases like ‘Skinny Legend’ being thrown around comment sections as an ultimate compliment. It is triggering. A danger even to my own image recovery.
“Thinness keeps us trapped within a false sense of empowerment, making us believe we’re in control of our bodies and our lives, while we’re actually disempowered and weak
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What many of us need to realize, is that a woman’s body is never just a body. It has been used as a signifier of ‘beauty’, yes, but also class, discipline and compliance. ‘Ideal’ body shapes tend to reflect the societal, cultural and political beliefs of the time. After World War II, for example, a plumper, Hollywood-esque physique became the ideal, a return volley from the malnourishment of food rationing.
Thinness, on the other hand, tends to rear itself during political chaos and prevalence of the right wing. Thinness is as much about female restraint as it is a willingness to submit. Thinness keeps us trapped within a false sense of empowerment, making us believe we’re in control of our bodies and our lives, while we’re actually disempowered and weak. It keeps us forever focused on food control, and making ourselves smaller, rather than ready to weigh in on the bigger issues of the world.
Thinness makes women palatable. A woman who is full, fed, rested and strong is far harder to control and manipulate.
So, how do we protect ourselves – and fellow women and girls – from the pressure of unhealthy ideals?
We need to become the women we wish we had seen growing up; the women all of us still need to see now. We can choose to follow women online who post more than just their bodies or outfits, who speak about socio-political issues, art, positive news or the realities of the day-to-day life of women. We need to be posting about those things too. We have so much more to offer the world than whether or not we fit into other people’s beauty standards. We must encourage women to nourish themselves with things that matter beyond image, like education, reading, culture and conversations.
We should allow ourselves the right to feel pleasure, while disregarding the idea that a woman enjoying herself is inherently ‘selfish’. Relish the food we eat, explore travel, have sex. Most of all, we must try our best to dismantle the persistent centering of men. We should view the world with our own curiosity and openness, not through anybody else’s gaze.
We only have one life. We only have one body. We must love it while we still can.
Flesh by Charli Howard will be released on March 5, 2026.